MST3k till I die.
Reminder to everyone that this month’s Rifftrax Live is Thursday night! I will be enjoying/suffering through another riffing of Santa Claus vs. the Martians.
- Halfway through, it just becomes Mary Poppins starring Jewel, and nobody notices.
- Carrie Underwood takes a Louisville Slugger to both headlights of Hitler’s pickup truck.
- The hills are alive, but you know, like, they have eyes.
- A panicked look on Underwood’s face as she forgets “My Favorite Things” and has to make up the lyrics: “Raindrops on racists and nipples on chickens.”
- Accidental swears.
- I hope they keep the scene where the kids are lined up by height. Oh wait, that’s every scene.
- Funkier new disco arrangements by Nile Rodgers and Hammerstein.
- All the kids’ voices deepen four octaves between rehearsal and performance.
- All the success of NBC’s last musical theatre endeavour, Smash.
- A convoluted backstory to explain Underwood’s southern accent.
- Sets that look an awful lot like the Cliffhangers set from The Price is Right.
- Changing a few lyrics for sponsors: “How do you solve a problem like eczema? Cortizone!”
- An acknowledgment of what the lonely goatherd does when he gets really lonely.
- By popular demand, the Ricola jingle.
- “La” breaks up with “Do Re Mi,” stating, “Is that all I am to you, a note to follow so?”
Happy Birthday Terry Pratchett
"The Oggs were what is known as an extended family - in fact not only extended but elongated, protracted and persistent. No normal sheet of paper could possibly trace their family tree, which in any case was more like a mangrove thicket. And every single branch had a low-key, chronic vendetta against every other branch, based on such well-established causes célèbres as What Their Kevin Said About Our Stan At Cousin Di’s Wedding and Who Got The Silver Cutlery That Auntie Em Promised Our Doreen Was To Have After She Died, I’d Like To Know, Thank You Very Much, If You Don’t Mind.
Nanny Ogg, as undisputed matriarch, encouraged all sides indiscriminately. It was the nearest thing she had to a hobby.”
- Terry Pratchett, “Witches Abroad”